amos snoot fuller

Amos is what some would call a professional elbow-bender.  Claims he only drinks for medicinal reasons.  When the doctor told Amos that whiskey wasn't nothin' but a slow killin' poison, Amos said "That's alright Doc, I ain't in no hurry!"

SB&B-S01

AMOS 
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

loop leg luther

Luther's got a knack for avoiding hard labor of any kind.  In fact the boys at the bunkhouse nicknamed him "The Solar-Powered Cowboy"  'cause every time he finds a shady spot he quits workin'.

SB&-S02

25.00
15.00

rotgut rodney

Rodney is what you might call a bad hombre.  The story's told that as a young pup he was so mean that his mama had to feed him biscuits & gravy with a slingshot.

SB&B-S03

ROTGUT 
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

hooch gibson

Hooch Gibson is the kind of fella that must've been born on horseback. Claims he can ride anything with four legs and hair on it. His favorite sayin' is "If the job can't be done on horseback, it just ain't worth doin'!"

SB&B-S04

25.00
15.00

Straight Shot Stoney 

Ol' Stoney was born about the time "the Grand Canyon weren't nothin' but a gulley." His favorite sayin' is "I may be over the hill, but it's a helluva lot better than bein' under it."

SB&B-S05

25.00
15.00

Firewater Willy

Ol' Willy runs a place out in Arizona that sells handmade indin gifts. Calls it a "Souix-Ve-neer Shop". Says he used to be a great chief, "Till th' tribe caught him makin' home brew corn whiskey in the ceremonial tom-tom.

SB&B-S06

25.00
15.00

Tequila Joe

Joe likes to brag that he was raised on nothin' but "Texas Red & Cactus Juice". (chili & tequila).  But Joe is quick to tell you that th' only reason he drinks tequila is "to save that poor leetle worm from drownin'."

SB&B-S08

25.00
15.00

Snuffy Wrangler

Snuffy's an old time horse trader. Guarantees his horses are worth the bucks. He says he's made enough money in the horse business to retire and live comfortable the rest of his life, as long as he dies by next Tuesday.

SB&B-S11

25.00

levi druelslinger

Levi's a "real" cowboy.  He's got a black hat, a big ol' wad of Redman, and he's always broke. Bein' broke ain't nothin' new to Levi. As a kid his family was so poor all he had was a tumbleweed for a pet...

SB&B-S13

25.00
15.00

CHIEF STINKY FOOT

Leader of the Neverwash Tribe.  The Chief had a near fatal accident last summer when one extremely hot day he drank five gallons of iced tea and dang near drowned in his own tee pee....

SB&B-S14

25.00

whiskers mcnutt

Whiskers never went to school, but he learned the three R's early on (Ridin', Ropin', & Ranglin').  Sez there's 3 simple rules to livin' a long happy life:  never approach a bear from the front, a skunk from the rear, or a woman from any direction!...

SB&B-S15

25.00

pops

Pops sez that most real cowboys come into the world the same way they go out - bald, bowlegged and broke.  And there's only one thing that would make a man want to spend his whole life being a cowboy ... cowgirls!

SB&B-S19

25.00
15.00

hoolihan hank

Hank is a diagnosed team roper.  Lots of folks get this very serious disease and are unaware of it.  Here's a few of the symptoms:  *Wearing T-shirts that say "Will Rope for Food".  *Having more missing fingers than the guy that feeds the sharks at Sea World.  *Driving a brand new $35,000 ¾-ton diesel crew cab dually pickup with matching four horse slant trailer, and borrowing money for gas.

SB&B-S20

25.00

squatting bear

It's and old Indian tradition that when a baby is born the mother looks out the teepee and names her baby after the first thing she sees. Unfortunately this little Indian was born in bear country, just as the huckleberries ripened and, well, you figure it out. If you don't believe this story is true, just ask his twin brother Dribbling Moose.

SB&B-S21

25.00
15.00

anita mann

Anita is a buckle-bunny. She's got cupid's cramps and is lookin' to put her brand on a cowboy. Sez, she always wears a hat just in case she finds a cowboy willin' to get married at the drop of one!

SB&B-S22

25.00
15.00

cow camp kate

Kate is a top hand.  She can out ride, out rope, and out shoot any cowboy around.  When asked whether women make better cowboys than men she replied, "All I know is roosters crow and hens deliver."

SB&B-S23

25.00
15.00

rowdy barr

Rowdy was born a fighter.  His daddy was an old Indian fighter and his mama was an old Indian. Unfortunately he rarely comes out on top.  In fact, he's lost so many fights his friends nicknamed him "Miracle Whip" cuz it would be a miracle if he whipped anybody.

SB&B-S24

25.00
15.00

slim chance

Like all real cowboys most of the time, Slim's broke.  He says it's easy to tell how much money he has in the bank.  All he has to do is pick it up and shake it.  When asked what he'd do if he won a million dollars, he replied, "I guess I'd just keep bein' a cowboy 'til it was all gone."

SB&B-S25

25.00
15.00

curly clark

Curly says “I don’t have a receding hairline, I’ve got an advancing forehead”.  The truth is that Curly is bald.  So bald in fact, his friends say that every time he takes a shower he gets brainwashed.

SB&B-S26

25.00
15.00

rattlesnake jake

This South Dakota cowboy is so tough, he shaves his face with a broken beer bottle, combs his hair with a porcupine, flosses his teeth with barbed wire, and uses a cactus for toilet paper!

SB&B-S27

25.00
15.00

whiskey rivers

Whiskey always says "If somethin's worth doin', it's worth doin' right.  So if your gonna lay around and drink whiskey all day, you gotta start early in the morning!"

SB&B-S28

25.00
15.00

one eyed jack

Jack is a professional poker player and a compulsive gambler - he even went to gamblers anonymous once to try and quit...they gave him 10 to 1 odds he would never make it.  

SB&B-S29

25.00
15.00

chopper

Chopper was born to ride a hog.  Even as a baby, all he wore were black diapers with 'Wild Thing' written across the backside.  Chopper says being a biker ain't what it used to be.  Nowadays, instead of hanging out with Hells Angels drinking beer out of a rusty cylinder head, it's doctors and lawyers sipping martinis, with tattoos on their arms like 'Born to Be Upwardly Mobile' or 'Make Investments in High Interest Bearing Mutual Funds, Not War.'  

SB&B-E01

25.00
15.00

homer

Homer used to play ball with an obscure minor league team, the Wala-Wala Warthogs.  His love of hot dogs earned him his own BBQ grill in the dugout, and the nickname 'Sultan of Suet'.  Now he coaches Little League and plays slow-pitch softball.  The closest he gets to a grand slam now is breakfast at Denny's.  

SB&B-E02

25.00

jim shorts

Jim wasn't exactly born to play basketball.  In fact, he committed his first double dribble at the age of two while attempting to eat peas and carrots simultaneously.  Since he's both vertically and ethnically challenged, the closest this guy will every get to a jam is on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  

SB&B-E03

25.00
15.00

 

mad dog gruntfartski

Mad Dog is one truly offensive football player.  In fact, he's the only player to receive a personal foul for bad breath.  He says his mama taught him three things about playing football:  1.  When you eat a defensive lineman always spit out the helmet.  2.  Face masks are for sissies.  3.  Never swear at a referee; making fun of the hair on his mother's back is far more effective.  

SB&B-EO4

25.00
15.00

buzzard

No Tag

SB&B-C03

25.00
15.00

boozin' beary

DINGLE BEARIES
Boozin Beary by Rich Weatherbee

SB&B-D01

25.00
15.00

bear footin'

DINGLE BEARIES
Bear Footin by Rich Weatherbee

SB&B-D02

25.00
15.00

ace

This kind of sleaze-ball is definitely not to be trusted on the golf course.  You should never bet against a guy with a dark tan, beady eyes, and the best wood in their bag is their pencil.  Ace has been known on occasion to yell four, shoot six, and write down five.

SB&B-G01

 25.00

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............

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(Includes APO & FPO Addresses)

This Free Shipping Offer Includes shipments within the Lower 48 United States only.  Shipping charges outside this area will be quoted upon request.

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ace
(FULL FIGURE)

This kind of sleaze-ball is definitely not to be trusted on the golf course.  You should never bet against a guy with a dark tan, beady eyes, and the best wood in their bag is their pencil.  Ace has been known on occasion to yell four, shoot six, and write down five.

SB&B-G01F

25.00
15.00

duffer

This old duffer is determined to become an "Age Player".  That is an accomplished golfer whose score in a round of golf is equal to his own age, or a golfer who is able to shoot a complete round while acting his age.  If this old coot can hang on for another fifty years he might just make it.

SB&B-G02

25.00

duffer
(fULL fIGURE)

This old duffer is determined to become an "Age Player".  That is an accomplished golfer whose score in a round of golf is equal to his own age, or a golfer who is able to shoot a complete round while acting his age.  If this old coot can hang on for another fifty years he might just make it.

SB&B-G02F

25.00
15.00

phil fairway

Nothing stops this guy from playing golf.  Set fire to the trees and cover the greens with broken glass, put Phil out there in gasoline-soaked pants, barefoot, and he'd still break par.

SB&B-G03F

25.00
15.00

four putt frank

Frank's three secrets of golf: "Never let anyone see you cry when you line up your fourth putt." 
"When you throw your clubs always throw them down the course.  It saves time going back to pick them up."  "Never hit your caddie with a putter, a sand wedge is far more effective."

SB&B-G04F

25.00
15.00

n. d. ruff

N. D. isn't a bad golfer, actually he hits the woods pretty well.  He just has one hell'uva hard time gettin' out of them.  When he asked a local golf pro for a tip to improve his game the pro said, "If I played like you I'd lay off three weeks, then quit for good."

SB&B-G05F

25.00
15.00

sandy trapp

This sexy shotmaker might have inspired the old saying, "Give me clubs, fresh air and a beautiful golf partner, and you can keep the clubs and fresh air."

SB&B-G06F

25.00
15.00

willy one-shot

Willy is a very consistent golfer.  He always shoots in the low 80's.  Willy likes to spend most of his time at the 19th hole because he says, "It's the only hole where it doesn't matter how many shots I take."

SB&B-G07F

25.00
15.00

stumPy

Stumpy comes from a tough pirate family.  So tough that anyone with both ears is considered a sissy.  In fact, Stumpy is so mean Dial-a-Prayer told him to go to Hell.  

SB&B-N07

25.00
15.00

poop deck

Poopdeck's only true love is the sea.  Says he likes women in his arms not on his hands.  He brags that "no woman has been able to pin anything on him since he wore diapers."

SB&B-N09

25.00
15.00

LAPTOP SANTA

Computers have finally reached the North Pole.  Nowadays Santa keeps his naughty and nice list on his laptop, although it does have occasional glitches.  Last year every politician, lawyer, and IRS agent living in the USA received nothing but coal in their stockings.  Santa has fixed the problem and this year these same people will receive coal no matter where they live.  

SB&B-CH07

LAPTOP SANTA 
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

dr. von yankenpull

The dentist's patients think he's part magician because he can pull the teeth out of your head and the money out of your pocket at the same time.  When he says "Open wide" they're never sure whether he means their mouth or their wallet.

SB&B-0C01

25.00
15.00

mrs. grumblebutt

Mrs. Grumblebutt is probably the toughest teacher in the world.  One former student of hers said that being in her class is a lot like having a kidney stone:  they are both very painful and difficult to pass.

SB&B-OC02

25.00
15.00

loop hole louie

Loop Hole Louie is a junior partner in the law firm of Dewey, Skrewem & Howe.  Louie was born to argue.  In fact, when he was only two days old he won his very first debate convincing his own mother not to have him circumcised.

SB&B-OC04

25.00
15.00

sparky

Sparky is so slow he's been a firefighter for 25 years and only has 18 years of experience.  He recently asked for a raise, and the chief promised to pay him what he's worth.  Sparky replied, "Hell, I'm making more than that now!"

SB&B-OC06

25.00
15.00

sparky (Mini)

Sparky is so slow he's been a firefighter for 25 years and only has 18 years of experience.  He recently asked for a raise, and the chief promised to pay him what he's worth.  Sparky replied, "Hell, I'm making more than that now!"

SB&B-OC06-MINI

  25.00
15.00

sergeant mcdunkin

Sgt. McDunkin is not exactly Dirty Harry.  He's the only cop on the force with "Have a Nice Day" written on his nightstick.  His favorite saying is:  "I'll take a bite out of crime anytime - as long as it's covered with powdered sugar."

SB&B-0C07

25.00

jack hammer

Jack is a lot like the Liberty Bell.  He's loud, wide at the bottom, and he always show a little crack.  

SB&B-OC09

25.00
15.00

penicillin pete

Pete is half pharmacist, half herbalist, and half zulu witch doctor.  He has a home remedy for everything including the world's only sure fire cure for baldness.  Two shots of tequila, a tablespoon of gopher sweat, and a pinch of powdered gnat testicles, taken three times daily.  It won't grow hair, but after a couple of treatments you won't care anymore.  

SB&B-OC11

25.00

beaufont betty

Betty is the town's biggest gossip.  Some folks think she's really a reporter for the National Enquirer.  Betty swears she would never tell a lie but she's very careful never to let the truth stand in the way of a good story.  which proves you can't believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.  

SB&B-OC15

25.00

wendell lickenstamp

Wendell is the world's grumpiest postman.  He's got sore feet, a slipped disk, bad breath and has been attacked by more wild animals than Marlin Perkins.  He also belongs to the postmen's 4H Club:  hernia, hypertension, heartburn and hemorrhoids.

SB&B-0C16

25.00
15.00

vino stompoli

Vino is a master vintner and incurable oenophile.  His favorite saying is "Whether made from a grape apple or pickle, I love um all, from Merlot to Ripple."  (oenophile [e'ne fil'] a person who enjoys wines)

SB&B-OC19

25.00

lugnut

How many mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?  It takes five, one to figure out what's wrong, three to get parts, and one to try and hammer it in. 

SB&B-OC20

25.00

flossy

Flossy is the world's fastest hygienist.  Instead of cleaning your teeth she just brushes the tartar under your gums and squirts air freshener on your uvula. 

SB&B-OC22

25.00
15.00

dr. bittenskratch

It's hard being a veterinarian.  You have to treat everything from flatulent hamsters and constipated goldfish to Clydesdales with diarrhea.  This vet's credo is simply:  Cure all you can, bury the rest, and never, ever try to take the temperature of a pit bull with hemorrhoids!

SB&B-0C25

25.00

dr. kerra lott
(Figure)

Kera is a super doctor!  She's faster than a racing pulse, able to leap high blood pressure in a single bound.  She knows that diapodigaglobulis is Latin for toe jam, and can cure walking pneumonia in less that a mile!

SB&B-0C28F

25.00

phil glass

A well traveled business man told Phil on the way out of the restaurant, the Veal Parmesan was better than what he had eaten in Milan the week before.  He asked Phil what their secret was.  Phil said, "We import our cheese, they use domestic!"

SB&B-OC29

25.00
15.00

al mamater

Al believes going to college is the best days of your life.  When else are your parents going to spend thousands of dollars a year for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night.

SB&B-OC31

25.00
15.00

daddy warbucks

Daddy Warbucks Motto:  Money won't buy you happiness, it won't buy you love, it won't buy you health, but if you have enough of it, you can rent them all. 

SB&B-OC32

25.00
15.00

vinny vyagra

Vinnie may be eighty but every morning he wakes up he feels like a twenty year old.  Only problem is there is never one around.

SB&B-0C34

25.00
15.00

black jack

Black Jack really hit it big in Las Vegas.  He drove there in a $20,000 car and came home "on" a $50,000 bus!

SB&B-OC35

25.00

fishtale frank

Frank is a real outdoorsman.  He loves to hunt and fish.  He says the biggest difference between hunting and fishing is that when you're hunting you lie and wait.  When you fish, you wait and lie.  

SB&B-SP07

25.00
15.00

shanghai

PRISON/WORK
In prison you are allowed regular conjugal visits from your spouse.  If you have a conjugal visit from your spouse while at work you will be fired.  

SB&B-X01

25.00

buster

PRISON/WORK
In prison you spend most of your time looking through bars wanting to get out.  At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and into bars.

SB&B-X02

25.00

al bore
holder

This Bottle Stopper Holder is the perfect companion for all your Spit'N' Whittle's!

SB&B-H01

10.00
5.00

saddle barrel
holder

This Bottle Stopper Holder is the perfect companion for all your Spit'N' Whittle's!

SB&B-H02

10.00
5.00

bandana bob shirt holder

This Bottle Stopper Holder is the perfect companion for all your Spit'N' Whittle's!

SB&B-H03

10.00

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